The Monster Club (1980)

[Gloomy Sundae]

The Monster Club (Sword & Sorcery, 1980)

Chetwynd-Hayes is minding his own business when he's attacked in the street by Erasmus, a vampire in need of his blood fix. When he realises just who he's attacked, Erasmus is all apologies: seems RCH is well thought of in fiend circles and, out of gratitude for his 'donation', Erasmus introduces him to the Monster Club, an exclusive venue whose membership is entirely composed of the ranks of the undead. As the night unfolds, RCH learns more about his fellow revellers by way of three little docu-dramas: There's Raven the Shamock, a relatively benign fellow who just wants a woman to love him. Unfortunately for all concerned, Angela and her boyfriend George hatch a scheme whereby she'll pretend to fall for Raven so she can separate him from the bulk of his sexy cash. When Raven is made aware of her real feelings toward him - somewhere far South of revulsion - he whistles. We've already seen what that can do to a cat who mauled one of his beloved pigeons, what will it do to a woman?

Next we turn our attentions to the Bosotsky family for a window on movie producer Milton's childhood. He had a nice time of it, actually, loving parents, the lot, but his father was a vampire, relentlessly pursued by Pickering, the Chief of Van Helsing wannabe unit the B-Squad (also known as "The Bleeney"). After the strange, touching and nasty Shadmock story (which improves 100% on the Chetwynd-Hayes original, to which it bears little relation), this is a faithful adaptation of his My Mother Married A Vampire which effortlessly matches it for irritating "you have to laugh, don't you?" bonkersness. Were it not for the performances of B. A. Robertson and the Viewers in the club scenes, this would arguably be the nadir of the film. And yet, perversely, it seems like it should be there, that The Monster Club wouldn't be quite the vaguely surreal experience without it.

No complaints about The Humgoo, which keeps all the best bits of RCH's original as movie director Sam seeks out a suitable location for his next horror movie and winds up in the mist-shrouded village of Loughville, home to an isolated community of inbred ghouls who survive on the materials they can scavenge from the "boxes" in the cemetery. Luna, the innkeeper's daughter, had a human mother and that side of her nature still craves the love of a mortal and a shopping expedition to London, and she helps Sam to escape his captors before they can make him the menu highlight for "the great eating." Tragically, Luna is felled by a well aimed rock as they flee the hungry villagers. Sam reaches the motorway and flags down a police car to report the terrible things he's witnessed ...

Finally, we return to the club where Erasmus has nominated RCH for club membership on account of man being by far the worst monster on the planet, before the final horror: The Viewers playing us out with the truly abominable Monsters Rule, OK? with Carradine and Price showing off their disco moves.

Far from being the greatest horror movie ever, this is still one of the most fascinating on account of just how wildly it fluctuates between the sublime (the Humgoo and Shadmock stories, the trite (the My Mother Married A Vampire adaptation[/i], and the downright ghastly (the clubbers - who look like they've been costumed and masked courtesy of the local pound-shop) being regaled by bands that surely weren't even popular at the time including B. A. Robertson, Night, The Auters and sundry sessioneers. Given that Chetwynd-Hayes collections are likewise often things of lofty peaks and lowly troughs, The Monster Club accidentally stands as a fitting tribute to all that is best and worst about this true Brit horror great.



Producer - Milton Subotsky
Director - Roy Ward Baker
Writers - Edward & Valerie Abraham: adapted from the R. Chetwynd-Hayes novel The Monster Club and the short story My Mother Married A Vampire from The Cradle Demon (1978)

Main cast

John Carradine - R. Chetwynd-Hayes
Erasmus - Vincent Price
Club Secretary (Werewolf) - Roger Sloman

The Shadmock:

Raven - James Laurenson
Angela - Barbara Kellerman
George - Simon Ward
Geoffrey Bayldon - Psychiatrist

My Mother Married A Vampire:

Anthony Steel - Lintom Busotsky
Richard Johnson - Lintom's vampire dad
Britt Ekland - Lintom's mother
Warren Saire - Lintom as a child
Donald Pleasence - Pickering of the B-Squad
Anthony Valentine - Mooney of the B-Squad
Neil McCarthy - Watson of the B-Squad

The Humgoo

Stuart Whitman - Sam
Lesley Dunlop - Luna
Patrick Magee - Innkeeper, Luna's dad.

Various clubbers & entertainers

B. A. Robertson - Sucker For Your Love
Night - The Stripper
The Viewers - Monsters Rule OK
The Pretty Things - The Monster Club

Suzanna Willis - Stripper

Also featured on the soundtrack are:

The Expressos - Valentino's Had Enough
UB40 - 25%
John Georgiadis - Transylvanian Terrors
Alan Hawkshaw - Ghouls Galore

[The Grim Reaper]

This quaint horror anthology is loosely based on the works of horror novelist R. Chetwynd-Hayes -- who is portrayed by John Carradine as an active participant in his own tales. The author is invited by a suave vampire (Vincent Price) to accompany him to the title establishment, where he observes the secret social customs of various species of monsters -- which apparently include drinking, dancing, and watching undead strippers remove more than just their clothing. He is also made privy to the mating patterns of these creatures, whose tendency to inter-breed creates such new strains of monsters as the "shadmock" (a vampire-like entity with a deadly high-pitched whistle) and the "humgoo" (the sullen offspring of a human and a flesh-eating ghoul). Price's descriptions of these new beasties trigger accompanying vignettes far less entertaining than the framing story, which is rife with horror movie in-jokes, cheesy rubber monster masks, and music by pop-reggae band UB40(!). Accomplished horror-omnibus director Roy Ward Baker seems to delight in the opportunity for pure camp, although the overall silliness of the proceedings has put off more than a few horror buffs. ~ Cavett Binion, All Movie Guide

[burlveneer]

I've just now seen this movie for the first time, and it was... enjoyable, in the sense that it was no better than I expected and no worse than I feared. I was surprised at the depth of the Shadmock story, so learning that it was heavily altered from the original (I haven't read that book yet) is not surprising. In "My Mother Married a Vampire," there are some significant deviations from RCH's story as well. In the original, Pickering seems to be sweet on Mrs. Vampire, and uses his supposed interest in the boy's well-being as his subterfuge for hanging around his beautiful mother. So it's a twist when he is revealed as a superintendent of the Bleeney. We lose that element in the movie for the sake of expediency, I suppose. Another change is that RCH's awful story-closing joke is replaced with an even worse one, which also changes the outcome entirely. So this ends up being an instance in which a Chetwynd-Hayes story is made even sillier! Finally, there is "The Humgoo"--predictable but effective, however Luna's broken English is hard to take!

Hmm, the previous poster regards the framing story as entertaining, I think that it's closer to embarrassing for all concerned. Providing a topical musical interlude for a camp horror film is a thankless task, so what we get are the bands who didn't realize that creating campy horror rock would be commercial suicide. Stevie Lange of Night surprises with her incredibly powerful voice, and the striptease is fun; the Pretty Things were over the hill by this point but manage to create a decent groove without going too far lyrically (as poor B.A. Robertson does); and the Viewers' generic new wave is passable. But--Vincent Price and John Carradine dancing to this stuff? Oh dear...

[Gloomy Sundae]

Very pleased to have another opinion on this and I must admit, having now watched it myself for the first time in years, I agree with you over the framing story. Our man from the All Movie Guide is evidently very easily entertained! The club interludes are actually fairly close to the novel although I'm not at all sure RCH would have approved of a pop/ rock soundtrack regardless of who was providing it. I'm obviously in a minority over the Viewers' spirited anthem. Honestly, words can not express my loathing - it's that gumby chorus that does me.

Of the two movies based on Chetwynd-Hayes' work, From Beyond The Grave is almost universally held in higher regard, but I can't help liking The Monster Club. Somehow it seems apt that a dramatisation of his work would fluctuate wildly from good to bad to almost unwatchable and back again.

Or maybe I'm just too much of a Subotsky fan as well.

Incidentally, the entire movie has been uploaded to YouTube (not guilty!), if anybody cares to search for it. It's in eighteen pieces. Imagine anybody being sad enough to download all eighteen. On dial-up .....

[Calenture]

These stills are interesting. convincing me that I have indeed completely forgotten the film and am now convinced it must be something without which my life will be incomplete until I see it again - so thanks for the link (though with a dial-up connection, it will probably take three years to watch it and before then they'll show it on telly again). Finally ended that sentence. I've been able to contribute almost nothing to this site, for which apologies.

I was just typing that I'd read the book before I started writing things up, when I decided to do a search... hey, waddaya know! I wrote it up!

I'll add it where it will of course be totally redundant - right below Gloomy's post here.

The Pretties were in it? I suppose I could turn off the telly volume and play SF Sorrow...