Tales From Beyond (1982)

[Gloomy Sundae]

R. Chetwynd-Hayes - Tales From Beyond (William Kimber, 1982)

A Living Legend
Markland the Hunter
Shadow On The Wall
One Extra
The Painted Door
The Swing

A Living Legend: Bramfield Manor. Brian Radcliffe of The Daily Reporter is sent to secure an interview with Caroline Fortesque, a late-Victorian author of some repute. By his reckoning, the recluse is 117 years old, and her condition - when he finally persuades her sole companion, Jenkins the butler to allow him to see her - suggests he's correct. "Wouldn't she be better off dead? That ... that is nothing more than a slowly rotting corpse" he groans when confronted by the semi-mummified relic stinking out the bedroom, but the ever-loyal Jenkins assures him that she has her good days when she's relatively sprightly and capable of speech.
During the night, Radcliffe encounters Cathy, a beautiful young girl in white and when he mentions this to Jenkins, the old man pleads with him to stay away from her and on no account allow any physical contact. Such is the power of Mrs. Fontesque's romantic imagination that's she's brought life to her characters, but what will happen if the reporter fails to heed Jenkins' warning?

Markland the Hunter: Sara, the unhappy young wife of Elder Josiah Sullivan, spiritual leader of the local fishing community, wanders Cranston Point calling to the immortal Markland to free her from her misery. The corpse-like ghost walks out of the sea and unleashes his soul-stealing skeleton crew of the villagers, whose response is to burn Sara as a witch. A night of mayhem ensues before he returns to his watery grave. "Perhaps I only exist in fear-fevered imaginations. When the chain of bigotry and superstition are broken, possibly then I will die. It is conceivable that your God and I will die together."

Thanks to Bill for providing me with the contents list to this one!

[burlveneer]

You are quite welcome. Here is a cover scan:

And here is some commentary on this book (and others) that I posted to the alt.books.ghost-fiction usenet group on March 27, 2003:

About once a year I hunker down and read another of the stack of
Ronald Chetwynd-Hayes books I've accumulated. This week it was the
1982 collection TALES FROM BEYOND. It starts off quite nicely with "A
Living Legend," about a Victorian-era popular writer who is discovered
to be still alive-- OR IS SHE?! (ridiculous emphasis mine). The next
tale, "Markland the Hunter," is also quite good, and features a
character type that recurs throughout Chetwynd-Hayes's fiction, the
hell-fire-preaching, black-suit-and-broad-brimmed-hat-wearing,
extremely intolerant Puritan minister. Markland is a legendary
supernatural figure who actually puts in an appearance; OR IS HE
SIMPLY THE EMBODIMENT OF THE TOWNSFOLKS' FEARS?! (as above) But then
the stories start seeming familiar, and I remember that this happened
the last time I read a Chetwynd-Hayes collection, and oh! This must
be the "who's the ghost/werewolf/possessed body" story in which the
narrator and character A debate whether character B or C is the
thingy, culminating in the narrator's stroke of insight that "It is
YOU, A!", followed by A's response, "Yes, it is, and I would've gotten
away with it too if it wasn't for you!" or words to that effect. So
actually finishing the book becomes something of a chore. But there
are so many neat bits tucked away in his fiction that I will continue
this annual ritual until I have exhausted the pile. What I like most
of all are some of the grotesque images he comes up with; I will share
some of my favorites.

From "The Labyrinth", in which a couple trapped in a strange house
finally reach the cellar: "The head bore a resemblance to the
portrait in Mrs Brown's ante-room; it was dead-white, bloated,
suggesting an excess of nourishment consumed over a very long period.
The hair was at least six feet in length and was spread out over the
loose rock like a monstrous shroud. But the torso and arms grew out
of the ground. The shoulders and part of the forearms were flesh, but
further down the white skin assumed a grayish colour and, lower stil,
gradually merged into solid rock. Most horrifying of all was the
profusion of fat, greenish, tube like growths that sprouted out from
under forearms and neck and, so far as Brian could see, the whole of
the back. Obscene roots spreading out in every direction until they
disappeared into the black earth, writhing and pulsating, carrying the
vital fluid that circulated round the house."

From "The Headless Footman of Hadleigh", featuring psychic detective
Francis St Clare and his beautiful assistant Frederica Masters (who is
actually the psychic of the pair, a kind of Remington Steele
arrangement, that) : "From the wall--from a hole cut into the smooth
rock surface--from the moist black earth beyond--grew a long
snake-like, obscenely pink neck; thick as the average man's thigh,
sparsely covered with thin grey hairs, and at the end--like a melon
rammed between the lips of an elephant's trunk--was a human head….
[The one lost by the titular character!--BB] The neck was never still.
It waved its ten-foot length from side to side; contracted--with much
wrinkling of pink skin--elongated until the gaping mouth was a few
inches from Francis's right arm, then reared up, looking like a
monstrous giraffe. A voice--a hissing sound that manufactured
words--said: 'I'll…suck…you…dry…' A slow ripple began just where the
neck joined the moist earth, and undulated up the entire grotesque
length; the head nodded slowly as though accepting a not particularly
welcome gift, then yawned. Something brown, pliable--rather like a
wad of bubble-gum--seeped from between the ruined teeth and dropped
with a soft 'plop' sound on to the floor. It inflated, became as a
large, wrinkled football and grew two waving--seeking--pink-veined
tubes, complete with sucker-shaped mouths. Suddenly this
essence-sucker--Francis could think of no better designation--rolled
across the floor with incredible speed, became a brown spinning blur,
and fastened a sucker on Fred's left ankle."

I love that stuff! Morsels such as these will keep me reading
Chetwynd-Hayes until I've found them all. Am I alone in this
fondness?

One last quote, from "Someone Is Dead": "'Right', said Fred…." (The
members of the 1990-ish disco group Right, Said Fred ("I'm Too Sexy")
claim that they got their name from a story. I'm inclined to think this is the one.)

Bill B.

[Gloomy Sundae]

You're definitely not alone! I can't think of another author who has annoyed me to the point of "never again!" like RCH, but I always seem to return to him after I've had a few months to calm down, because you're never quite sure when he'll come up with another gem. I can see why he was so popular with anthologists (the exception, it seems, being Peter Haining!) because I agree, he can be very samey and his stories seem to best suit multiple author volumes.

I liked both A Living Legend and Markland The Hunter though there's probably good reason why these two and, as far as I'm aware, none of the others from Tales From Beyond, have been revived by Stephen Jones.

[Gloomy Sundae]

burlveneer said:

One last quote, from "Someone Is Dead": "'Right', said Fred…." (The
members of the 1990-ish disco group Right, Said Fred ("I'm Too Sexy")
claim that they got their name from a story. I'm inclined to think this is the one.)

Bill B.

OK, so nobody is allowed to pull faces at me or call me names over this or anything, but the aforementioned Right, Said Fred have a page on MySpace and I've decided to become one of their "friends", see if I can get to the bottom of this one. I must admit, I always figured they'd lifted their name from a novelty record - by Bernard Cribbens, I think. Providing they're not too up themselves to converse with *cough* die-hard fans like me, it's to be hoped we'll soon have a confirmation as to whether or not the Mr. Freds can join Muriel Gray on the celebrity closet RCH aficionado's list.

[Gloomy Sundae]

Well, the Misters Fred got back to me and, I'm afraid:

From the Bernard Cribbins song.
RSF X


Damn! Now that they've been kind enough to reply I'll feel all guilty if I delete them from my "friends"!